EvincarSanbud's Xanga

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 22:55:21 GMT

Well, I don't plan on bringing this Xanga back, just a few entrys for the Crooklyn Crew, my rap group consisting of:

The Crooklyn Crew
Le Bronx (Me)
Sean Cahn
MC Racy Rogers
Scarecrow
T-Bag
Mu-Suds
C~Town Junk

and our towel boy and agent, Swinkee.

And here are a few songs just released from The Crooklyn Crew album, "Crookin With You"
The first is a diss song called, "God Loves Ugly" with Le Bronx and Sean Cahn.

Le Bronx:
Aight let me drop this **** to clear it up now
***, your faces are ugly, take a ****ing bow
Sniff, sniff, shut up, I smell bacon, ****ing sow
I smell pussy, and that’s a fact
And it’s comin’ from you bitch, to be exact.
If God really loved ugly, if that was true
Well you ****ing bitches, he’d hold no one above you!
I let you ****ing pick the date because it doesn't matter
You ain't gonna win then, now, or in the hereafter
Man when I swing at people they roll and they rave
Stax and Kijin tried to rap back but I busted those knaves
Bitches just give up rapping to me, please just stop and behave
Because every line you drop makes Tupac roll in his grave

Sean Cahn:
Yo bitches in the Gutter, you got a scuzz bottle on yo neck cause of my back itch!
I got people bitchin and whinin’ about a “true zombie apocalypse”
Well my friend Mr. Ecualyptus man says, “YOU CAN LICK THIS!”
And Necro I'm sick of you starting a zombie preparation nation,
Cause everyone knows they'll be safe and sound with the ****ing Zulu nation
Sean Cahn and Le Bronx spittin rhymes like a dirty ass Asian

Le Bronx:
Damn right bitches, we’re the crooks on the street
The Crooklyn Beat, comin’ in for fun fights
Running this **** like cops run red lights
This goes out to all the haters, tried and true
Because when yo momma said “God loves ugly”
She lied to you.

Sean Cahn:
Yeah! Oh snap,
I got a baby bottle pop on Deceit’s nipple ring!
Can’t fight that! Oh snap!
Like spicy balls off Kijin’s mother’s vagina
I’ll get you straight outta Crooklyn like Mike Ditka on an air flight to China!

Le Bronx:
Damn Necro,
Your talk is laggin, you gotta get faster
Like yo 56K when you DL pics of fat bastards
Lookin at their boobies saggin'
Yeah bitch, it's o-b-v you're a ***-fapper
You're not real see, just a drag-rapper!

Sean Cahn
Yo! I better autocombust this four wheeler
Cuz if I miss school, I’ma kill mah drug dealer!
Kill hill a grim steeple, cause
I feel the wrath of Jesus when I **** on all these people
You bitches better know
I be like "ooo-e, chew-e"
My **** is all brown on em, and so goo-e
I hate rappers that go “bling bling”!
Cuz last time I checked, KING CAHN RIPPED OUT YA MOTHA’S NOSE RING!

Le Bronx:
Damn right bitches, we’re the crooks on the street
The Crooklyn Beat, comin’ in for fun fights
Running this **** like cops run red lights
This goes out to all the haters, tried and true
Because when yo momma said “God loves ugly”
She lied to you.

Sean Cahn:
I feel as if my algebra teacher was something of a ****,
Cuz every time I see her with a new guy they be ****ing in the bathroom stalls of Pizza hut
**** the zombie thread, I'd rather beat off to the Wilmstead act while cutting off my head!
Pieces of **** that think they be cool, spewin’ out lies about some gay thread
Well news flash mother****er, Katrina was real
And a lot a’ people are dead.

Le Bronx:
Dead like Necro's gonna be
Awww, **** Necro, **** your candy clique
You've got as much cred in the street as Andy Dick
Which means you ain't ****, and therefore son
You better back off before we rip you a new one

Sean Cahn:
I feel as if my algebra teacher was something of a ****,
Cuz every time I see her with a new guy they be ****ing in the bathroom stalls of Pizza hut
And I am bad man, bitch Necro calling me a stoner? It ain’t my fault!
I'd rather be a that then jacking off to the comp from pics of Lee Harvey Oswald!

Le Bronx:
You bitches can’t be serious, runnin’ the zombie thread
The last thing you’ve got ta fear is the undead
Because when we ride on you tonight
You’ll be way more than undead to fight the fight
And the **** you dropped can’t be unsaid
So flinch from the light
Because it’s red and aimed at your head
My ****in’ laser sight.

Sean Cahn:
**** that all this zombie bull****, I've had enough of it, Necro’s ass bitchin' and whining
Hear Deceit, bitching and crying,
And newbies like Petear Griffin trolling and dying
Bitch please, cartwheels the **** and I be with the high rollers flying
The zombie thread was a ****ing joke, heck it’s such a joke that most of the time I'd go to that thread when I was stoned and toked!

Le Bronx:
****! Me too, Le Bronx, I don’t take this **** seriously
I’m just waitin’ for someone to step up so I can waste the bitch furiously.
Man, we bust through this **** max lithe
Suckin’ really must be your last life
You’ve got as much chance to take me down, man
As TRM has a chance to get back from Gutterban

Sean Cahn:
And what the **** did I ever do in the Gutter?
Jealous that I had some nice love makin’ with Stax’s sexy mother?
I’m out, SEAN CAHN AND LE BROX FOR LIFE
CROOKLYN IN THE HOUSE
MY MAN LE BRONX IN THE HOUSE
JET ROCK IS IN THE MOTHER****ING HOUSE!

Splendid, no? Well, here is our next song, yet another diss song, except this one featuring most of the group. "Crooklyn Club", Sean Cahn and Le Bronx featuring T-Bag, MC Racy Rogers and Scarecrow.

Le Bronx:
Aight, let's bump this ****, I'm ready to start
To all you mother****ing haters, hands on your hearts
And recite your creed, like your momma taught you to,
"I'm a bitch and I'ma loose like old prostitutes"
And you motha****as are just like Wheepinbells
Droopin over while you're in the Gutter suckin' off Bel
You can't do ****, and I suppose
That you eat out of a trashcan and shop at Lowe's
And why everyone gotta blame Runnin' Man?
You're all 'bout as sane as James Traficant.

Sean Cahn:
Yeah! I feel so guilty about last year missin the ****in prom,
Hopefully I'll get off my ass and ring a bell to Stax's mom
People think cause I smoke there are a lot of things I’m not able to do,
Well I'll tell ya this I'm rough in the bed and when I’m assraping Stax’s mom I’ll bend her down and a doo doo!
Yo nigga I like Beef easy,
'specially smellin the bacon cooking from mah man Stevie

Le Bronx:
But let's clear it up, I ain't got no beef with Stax, Necro or Kijin
They've got as much beef as the Hindu religion
Which means they don't want it, they're scared of the rich flow
Especially Necro, but I'd **** his bitch though
Scarecrow, T-Bag, all my niggers,
We getting stronger and stronger, risin' like thermometers!

Sean Cahn:
I feel so pity, that I gotza here stupid **** like fitty,
Make me wanna get wet dreams of my best friends mama cause she smells ****ty
And I got news for you Buckleberry, ya momz alright but her tits are hairy!

Le Bronx:
Dude, Scarecrow's on our crew, Cahn! Hello!
Aim your sights at the people who're bitches like Twomz and Necro!

Sean Cahn:
But they are hairy! Damn!
Yo, T-Bag, Scarecrow, Bronx, and Dan, say hello the next Runnin’ Man
Nigga step back before get a reetoe
Cuz me and Megaman smoke this bong like a burrito

Scarecrow:
Cahn, cmon man, why you gotta **** wit me?
I'm Crooklyn born, Crooklyn raised, **** is easy to see
Scarecrow walkin, scarecrow talkin,
Shotty in hand, got a scarecrow stalkin.
See him in the street, you know he's packin heat,
Get to steppin back or the reaper you will meet
Skinny as a bone, standing six foot four,
Crossin scarecrow is like knockin on death's door.
Kickin ass and spitting ****, scarecrow don't give a damn.
He'll take your bitch head off with a verbal battering ram

Le Bronx:
Ya'll bitches need to observe and then learn and then follow,
All you know how to do right now is swallow
If you can take cum then you can learn our rules
One, Never **** wit da Crooklyn Crew
Two, Surrender and take it when our guns are cookin' you
Three, you can't step to me
Four, I'll shoot you down once you step through my door and rap all the bitches you adore.
And the last rule of Crooklyn Club is you don't badtalk about Crooklyn Club
Because if you badtalk about Crooklyn Club,
That’s the last whine you’ll do
My slugs reachin’ out and separating your spine from you

T-Bag:
Ok right here is the T of the Crooklyn Crew
I do what I want so I'm gonna mess with you
So you better get ready
Get set
Cause if not they'll find your body on the doorstep
Cause we the best mother****er
And all of you know it
Straight outta Crooklyn, and I'm gonna show it

Sean Cahn:
You wanna battle bitches?
Show me yours and I'll show you mine,
But nigga I gotta warn you, **** with Cahn and you'll face my tech nine
Things like **** bitches, basket, I ain’t too fond,
But I'd totally gaz that Canadian bitch Celine Dion!
And all you lawyers haunting on Cahn, ready to sue?
Bitch I got members that'll **** you up, they be from the Crooklyn Crew

Le Bronx:
And I ain't got no ‘spect fo, the bitches who support the **** but can't rep flows, because their weak and want to beat me up like Necro
Man, you can't feel our ****, clown jokers,
You blow high in the air like pot smokers,
I'm so ****ing fresh in your morning next to your corpse, like hot Foldgers
The best part of waking up is Le Bronx ****ing you niggaz up with a cup of CLAP,
My .45 aimed, tight in my grasp
And Necro, guess we all know why you got blood on your dick
You can only **** dead chicks, hoping she kills herself, your bitch?
Now I get how you got your name, see, "Necro"
Well, at least you don't touch little girls and dogs like GPyro

Sean Cahn:
Yeah! I hate all the mods, especially Senori,
I wish they'd all ****in die in all the blood guts and glory
And though I'm pathetic when in down in low layers,
I'm glad I'm not that ****ing ***got Kijin who likes to make out with male cosplayers

Le Bronx:
Ya'll bitches need to observe and then learn and then follow,
All you know how to do right now is swallow
If you can take cum then you can learn our rules
One, Never **** wit da Crooklyn Crew
Two, Surrender and take it when our guns are cookin' you
Three, you can't step to me
Four, I'll shoot you down once you step through my door and rap all the bitches you adore.
And the last rule of Crooklyn Club is you don't badtalk about Crooklyn Club
Because if you badtalk about Crooklyn Club,
That’s the last whine you’ll do
My slugs reachin’ out and separating your spine from you...
Racy Rogers, hit 'em up true!

MC Racy Rogers:
Necro, you think your heart is straight up cold,
Well I guess thats a reasonable excuse for your one inch pole,
Now your embarassed, go burry yourself like a mole,
Come out a few months later to see if its still cold,
You see your shadow and dive back in your hole,
Ahhh now your feeling the heat from my rhymes that act like buring coals,
Making you dance, shudder, and squirm,
Look at you, you ugly little worm,
You couldn't get a girl if you were playing spin the bottle and it was your turn,
I can't believe you dog- what a waste of sperm

Sean Cahn:
I'm the numba one docta of the bomb dick!
They all know me as the O-P-I-U-M of thuganomics
I feel ignited when I light up my spliff,
Well twenty four ain’t passed five so I ain’t on a jiffy-jiff
And stop bitching n pitying me,
I'll cook ya like has browns with my flavored girl Darci
I got a beat down on you like a shinin’ star,
Blast yo grandparents up while eating a granola bar

Le Bronx:
And we don't give a **** who you are,
We'll **** up yo momma, yo girl and steal yo car
We burn yo vermin asses, spin you bitches backwards
While you whine and scream like your opinion matters.
So spurn your virgin clashes
Because we've been burning this **** since '02, what it DO, motha****as!

Sean Cahn:
I'm out like like stoned cold on cat cut with a cringle!
Like Pretzel outta space, I'm a blast yo tire nation with my mulecular PHASE
It’s over, Done with I'm finished with this song,
Sean Cahn and Le Bronx gonna blast you like a gravity bong
CROOKYLN REPRESENT, ZULU NATION, LE BRONX in the house,
O-P-I-U-M Thuganomics in the house!

And finally, the latest song released, a remix by producer and leader of the Crooklyn Crew, Le Bronx, of the classic Crooklyn Crew song "Persian Bread" with new verses by Le Bronx himself. It's called "Persian Bread; Zulu Nation Remix". Check it out, fresh off the waffle iron.

Le Bronx:
This is the remix, check out our new kicks we spit
****ers still use Unix, you’re Micro; Soft bitches!
We’ve got a Bill Gates monopoly on the rap game
And they refill skulls really sloppily when we blast brains
And we’ve got new **** to spit about right now
Persian bread remix with Katrina and Rita, bitch sows
Assrape Texas, well that’s alright
But **** up bare breasts and ****, that’s a fight
Because New Orleans was the ****, that’s true
Where you could find whores, Frenchmen, and beef stew
But now it’s all gone, their time is through
To tell you the truth,
I’d rather survive and let them kill you
And it’s with that mentality the country’s ruled
God bless America!
Where we ignore missing niggaz
But run after lost white girls named Erica!

Sean Cahn:
What’s goin' on the world today Bronx?
We got nothing but seeing kills and hate...
We got a bunch dickless losers who won’t do **** and debate

Le Bronx:
And the country ain't safer under this president,
I swear yesterday I was at LAX and it was evident that their protection wasn't fit,
Lettin' all the Arabs get on planes with ****. Box cutters, gats, Uzis and thirty nines, Explosives, tazers, and mother****in' knives!
The types of things that make ya' wanna run for ya goddamn lives!

Sean Cahn:
It’s a pity but a pit nigga...we got rich Jews sayin **** to beggars...
Beggars bein’ beggars while choosers bein' choosers,
While we got dikes doin’ what they want…Losers.
It’s a pity but pit we gotta see dumb **** go down in U.S of A
Cuz the whole world knows San Francisco is ****ed with all these blacks and gays!

Le Bronx:
Yeah, we the people in order to form a more perfect union
Kick ****ing Bush out, get moving!
Ensure domestic tranquility!
Provide for the common defense
Hence shoot you in the head if you welch on debts
And **** up your bitch’s pussy!
Cut off your ****ing arms
If you survive you must have a lucky charm
See? Americans aren’t violent at all
And if you say they are, I’ll cut off you balls!

Sean Cahn:
Yo I hope we, do somethin’ to learn!
Cuz if you don’t do something in the next five minutes Bush is gonna burn!

Le Bronx:
And when a nigga gonna get a chance?
The Man just bringin’ down his hopes and spittin’ on his Vans!
Hell no wigga, blacks will get a president before women, hella quicker!

Sean Cahn:
Yo I'll ****in' rape Bush on the walls!
Take out a loaded pistol and shoot off his balls!
Show him what it means to be the law!
Show him how to take care of yo stitches!
Show him who the ****in’ bitch is!
Show him if his back itches
Me and the rest of the niggas in Compton be the snitches!
And while we bein' snitches me and Larry know who Bush’s bitch is!
It’s John Kerry, you listenin’?
Cuz me and Bronx gotta go piss on yo Mrs. the way Monica did it with R. Kelly
And that bitch Kerry be a ****in' liar.
I be killin' his son and lighten him up wit ma lighter!
Settin’ that bitch on fire!
Seein’ how the rain falls he be put out of his misery quicker!
And then cleanin’ his dead carcass up with Quilter the quicker picker upper!

Le Bronx:
And Bill O’Reilly, don’t be snide mother****er!
The hole I’ll leave in your chest is gonna be wide mother****er!
Ah, don’t act like you don’t know!
You **** with rap pimps
They gonna carry you limp out the back door
Fair and balanced, ****ed, drop the ballast
Your **** is screwed and chopped
Like Paul Wall records playing, the ones you cop
You’re ****ed you know
Cuz the heat to your head’ll be like jalapeños
Ya'll niggas think I'm gonna back down
When ya'll come in my hood with a thirty three now?
Hell no siree, wrong MC, I'll take out my shotgun and start World War Three!

Sean Cahn:
And yo, I may be a chronic masturbater
But that’s ****ed up how Bush got in to Harvard for suckin' the dick of the administrator! And old people Part of the World War Three.
That’s gay since Bush's dad be humpin' a tree!
And **** the racists of race...Bush is a fake ass ****, and a **** face!

Le Bronx:
Yeah, **** the system, **** the man
Watch Dick Cheney **** Bush up his mother****in' can!
Or don't watch it, I warned ya, this type of **** will make you vomit and keel ovah!

Sean Cahn:
Yo Bush ain’t doin’ good and fittin’
At least we had a decent president which was Clinton...
Yo he wasn’t very good to choose and pick
But hey, at least he got Monica Lewinsky to SUCK-HIS-DICK!
Hell! My tooth be so sore seeing how Bush is talkin’ smack on Michael Moore
The guy most nerds thinks he’s cool...The one who made Bush look like a fool!

Le Bronx:
All these lame ass 'Publicans tell us to do ****,
**** that D.C. bull**** when politricktians are getting their damn dicks licked!
You think Lewinski was the deepest they could go?
Well surprise nigga, what if I said Bush is China’s good ho?
And that we’re all ****ed over now and tomorrow?
****, we’d better get moving forward
Party like its six years ago
And we’re not losing a sore war

Sean Cahn:
And forget sex! What about LA-Ex!?
I heard there’s too much fussin’ and cussin’ down there! Yo Bronx weren’t you there?

Le Bronx:
**** yeah I was there, swing mah arms in the air, screamin', 'Back off yo mother****ing gay ass carebears'!
And the niggas just paused, starin' at my ****
Lookin' like they wanna rumble when all they wanna do is suck dick!

Sean Cahn: Eatin' Persian bread, Eatin Persian bread!
Le Bronx: While mother****ers in Iraq get shot dead!
Sean Cahn: Eatin' Persian bread, I'm eatin’ Persian bread!
Le Bronx: Don't listen to the **** that ***got Bush says!

Sean Cahn: Eatin' Persian bread, Eatin Persian bread!
Le Bronx: While our boys in Afghanistan get painted red!
Sean Cahn: Eatin' Persian bread, I'm eatin’ Persian bread!
Le Bronx: Don't listen to the **** that ***got Bush says!

Le Bronx:
And I don't feel this homeland security ****, with the FBI and CIA bein' unfit to get real data,
Crazed highschoolers with vendettas
Nerds getting their parent's guns and goin berserk,
Pointin' a Mac point-blank at yo head and sayin', "Nigga dis gonna hurt!"

Sean Cahn:
And what about highschooler punks, bitches and ****?
They think just cause the rest of the crowd smokes doobies and points guns means he ain’t fit?
Fit? **** this ****! This is the **** I bring to you, so listen!
I'm goin up to my home homeboys and say wazzup…
All I hear is how Bush got things ****ed up.
And while things are ****ed up I be at the 7-Eleven
Hearin’ **** 'bout what happened on 9-11!! You hear ‘bout 9-11, Bronx?

Le Bronx:
**** I hear about it, heard about it, while Republicans still mouth about it,
Move on you mother****in’ ****ing bitches,
It’s just a tool for fascists talkin’ dickless
Who can’t even understand, their life is so good
Can’t ****in’ understand life in the hood

Sean Cahn:
Yo, my girl Beth be tellin’ me how the terrorist cause her grandmothers death on 9 11
I say, ‘Honey not even we can be saved by these slurpees on da 7-11’..
Talkin’ bout 7-11 make me wanna get a M4 and put out the reverend!
**** the reverend...I see bitches go pick and pick
Take out ma pistol and click, click!

Le Bronx:
You out of bullets nigga? Hurry, get some
So these ****in’ crazy bitches can let loose and run
7-11, be full of crazed niggas with turbans and for certain,
Arabs, Indians, and crazed hairy bitches,
The type who take out AKs and put yo body in stitches!
At least according to the FBI
I wonder why we gotta be cushed in such a state of fear
So Bush can afford to buy a Lear?

Sean Cahn:
And yo, what’s with this "Good nation"
If it’s a good nation why we got child molesters on probation?
A nation of probation seein’ a chronic masturbator vote count as a sin-sation?
BULL ****! I gave yo mama three dollar and 75 cents!"

Le Bronx:
And speakin' of cents, that's all the niggas in the hood can get, no jewels, no Ferrari
No ice at all, you goddamn mother****in’ rich white Nazis!

Sean Cahn: Eatin' Persian bread, Eatin Persian bread!
Le Bronx: While dumbass rappers overdoes on street cred!
Sean Cahn: Eatin' Persian bread, I'm eatin’ Persian bread!
Le Bronx: Don't listen to the **** that ***got Bush says!

Sean Cahn: Eatin' Persian bread, Eatin Persian bread!
Le Bronx: While all these old crazy bitches can’t afford their meds!
Sean Cahn: Eatin' Persian bread, I'm eatin’ Persian bread!
Le Bronx: Don't listen to the **** that ***got Bush says!

Le Bronx:
Yo, I pledge allegiance to the mother****in flag, to the little red, white, and blue rag.
God bless America? That don't mean ****
When the sad ****in’ truth is God don't exist!"

Sean Cahn:
Woah, God doesn’t exist? I thought that **** was made up on da Exorcist?
What the **** Le Bronx, don’t be sayin’ ****ed up **** like dat...
Dat ain't cool nigga that’s just plain WACK!

Le Bronx:
Don't tell me it's whack, you **** of sack!
Sack of ****, **** of sack, I don't listen to my own **** to see if its whack
I just spit it true, spit it out, spit it free, word of mouth
You now the Almighty isn't real, if He was then babies wouldn't die or get killed,
If He was then poorass niggas would get cash,
If He was then we wouldn't have to listen to mother****in’ Bush's ass!

Sean Cahn:
And all these guys think they so good to their ladies
Then why we got ****in ladies blamin’ black people for kill there ****in babies
When it’s really the lady we gotta pity fo being so sick and ****ty it ain’t even funny!

Le Bronx:
Ya chicks all around be getting abortions, be suckin' off their brothers, be ****in horses. The **** today is sick, social morality bein' crushed in America's mosh pit!
And you may think all I spit is diss and angry ****,
Shoutin’ anarchy like Sacco and Vanzetti and roarin’ like a warrior,
Sent from heaven, since 9/11 I've been watchin' out for Arabs like they were plague rats!
“A-Rabs, B-Rabs, C-Rabs, D-Rabs”, racial slurs jumpin ‘around,
Once a wigga comes into my town, shoutin at Jews,
Shoutin at Nazis, shoutin at ***s dressed like Liberace!
So we give him mercy and tell him watch his manners
As he falls onto his back, blood splatter

Sean Cahn:
Man I hate it when the news and there be someone stealin’ a van
And perpetrator bein’ a black man...That ain’t cool...
Specially if uze a white guy sippin’ in a pool,
Shreddin’ **** like a mother****in’ tool!
I tool you wigga! Old school you snikka!!
Shicka da bicka be da choose picka!
Ya dumbass mother****in’ trickass niggas

Le Bronx:
And there's even worse **** bouncin’ on the television,
Bush slammin' round Iraq not even lookin’ for Bin Laden!
Well ****, ain't he the nigga who headed the 9/11 attack,
Talkin’ about Saddam when you should be talkin’ ‘bout that Arab!
So stay fab and worried
Because when the nation catches up
You’re gonna have ta mad hurry
And come up with more lies
I mean, I just need the truth bitches
I’ll try to act civilized
But civilization's in danger
Cuz Bush don't give a **** about the Black Ranger!

Sean Cahn:
Yo Bush ain’t the pity to pit!
He’s just the cracka who ain’t doin’ ****,
Makin’ things up, seein’ he’s all ready ****ed up.
Knowin’ he wants accusations to tell,
Knowin’ the whole worlds gone down ta hell,
No really who’s gonna show and tell? Well?!

Le Bronx:
Hell no nigga, I'll testify against him quicker
Quicker than Sean Cahn can say the word "jigga”

Sean Cahn:
Jigga! Nigga! I justify what ya’ll gotta say, why?
Cause I would die for my country to tell and well...NOT!
Nigga, this country is gone down to hell already! Ready Freddy?!
Ready Teddy and Ted?
Bush gonna send a missile and we’ll all end up dead!

Le Bronx:
Yeh, I ain't gonna get drafted for the US of A,
I ain't gonna go to the front lines and get capped by an Iraqi, that **** is gay!
And I ain’t no saccharine sack of pacifist **** anyway
I just don’t give a **** about Bush’s agenda
Aim my gun at your head and open it up like a credenza.

Sean Cahn:
Now that we’re dead that’s pretty much said;
We better take a nip and tuck
Cuz with Bush as our president I already know were ****ED! U.S of A?
More like U.S of Hate, is what me and ma nigga Nate would say

Le Bronx:
Oh, yo nigga Nate? The one that ****ed Kate?
He got shipped off to Baghdad to get his head blasted off, ain't that mad sad?
Well it would be if I gave a flying ****
But Poppa T.V.’s got my mind numb and out of luck

Sean Cahn:
You know what’s sad?! What really makes me mad?!
Is how all these niggas who have no daddy,
Who scream while getting beheaded by an Iraqi, but no!
Phew....The one I didn’t feel sorry for happen ta be a Jew.
And all these beheading on the net we pick....are some of these people weird?
Or just plain sick!?

Le Bronx:
Well I guess Jews are ok, except that ***got Lieberman,
The dumbass Democrat with a heart of glass or fool's gold
So ugly, boring, and so damn old!
If he’s got a problem with GTA
I’ll show him what the game taught me
Shoot him in the head, smoke weed, and shout out, “YAHTZEE!”

Sean Cahn:
Oh yeah it’s OK and hardy har har!
Let’s see what happens when I bring my shotgun and disrupt the political party

Le Bronx:
Which political party? The Republocrats or Democans?
They're so much alike I wanna throw 'em all in Fallujah,
Watch 'em all got blown up while I shout, ‘Told ya!’"

Sean Cahn:
And what’s with this nation of gay Administration?
And why isn’t this organization fixing on having a better proclamation?
And why we gotta government sending **** on our on terms?
Is it to see the loved lives of few be sitting in there corpses getting rotten with worms?

Le Bronx:
Speaking of Iraq, this **** is tired
Everyone shushing my mouth
“Don’t say this is even a little mire”
But it is Vietnam, and I’ll say it true
Except instead of commies
Face it boo
We have Muslims to kill now
And plenty of tombs
With bombs flyin’ everywhere, it’s fun in the sun
People scattering, runnin’ for guns
And people livin’ in **** stables
The whole world is ****ed
The universe is unable.

Sean Cahn:
Unable!
It’s stable is what I hear in Iraq and Iran
**** them both it’s the same to every gayass who can’t take that!
Yo we gotta make an alliance so we can show what we know about political science.

Le Bronx:
Unable to work, unable to speak their mind to the machine,
It's like Saddam's regime has arrived
Except we got the star spangled banner, the stars and stripes
All just bull**** for us to imbibe!

Sean Cahn:
Yo! I hate these political runners and niggers...
Make me wanna crash the White House in and pull the ****in trigger!

Le Bronx:
Trigger on what? Yo gat, yo Uzi or yo nine?
**** that **** I'll take out my muther****in’ knife!
Shank you till your arms dangle off at acute angles
And your wallet drops off while I snatch it shoutin, "Thank you!"

Sean Cahn:
Our government sucks!
The Nation is ****ed!
Yo, this Bush think he’s too pity the pit
Even though he ain’t doin’ ****!

Le Bronx:
But ya gotta live on niggas, keep it reel
While bitches flap their lips and kill!
But we have hope, everyone.
Cuz these rhymes I drop are lyrically divine,
Make crazed niggas yell, "He must be da Messiah!"
But I gotta admit, I got a lot of skill (like none),
And I must admit I'm the king of da hill! (I'm done)”

Sean Cahn:
We well done…Cahn and Bronx…number one!

Friday, December 17, 2004

Fri, 17 Dec 2004 05:00:28 GMT

What is up guys!? Yeah, I know, I haven't upped this for time...And I probably won't, I'm damn lazy...but I've got something important...Behold, Sean Cahn and Le Bronx's brand new single, "Straight Outta Uni"!

Le Bronx : “Uh, uh, uh, ya'll know there be asses in daily life, bitches that don't want to talk just wanna cause strife, Persians, Jews, and hell, everybody else, just wanna get down and cause a mess, just fucking up and inducing stress, makes you wanna get pissed and mad, makes you wanna mutilate 'em bad.”

Sean Cahn: “Yo, Le Bronx calm down calm down. I'll show you a something to make that frown upside down ya'll smell me nigga?"

Le Bronx : “Hell no siree, you don't get me, me calm down is like Orin not actin' a fool, making an ass, fuckin' up my school”

Sean Cahn: “Yo I came ta this school Uni hearin' how its all good and shit but really all the people in Uni are just pathetically puny, like that faggot Orin think he's so cool with his jokes when really he's making an insult to Indians and retarded folks."

Le Bronx : “Like all these dumbasses who crowd around my school life is just fucking goin' down, down the drain nigga, because of all these bitches, go figure. Orin, Su, heck even Piam, these bitches are so fucked up, their mommas did dope while they were inside of 'em.”

Sean Cahn: “And I can't stand them deaf kids thinking were just a wet wiz seein' how they special they think they so special like special Ed trying ta mess with ma head? And I already got a detention and Saturday school just for makin' this deaf piece of shit look like a fuckin’' fool and now I'm just tool for them, please Folks don't go to Uni its all nothing but gay ass Jews and retarded jokes."

Le Bronx : “Ya, what the fuck is with the school administration today, talking about equality, man, that shit is gay, we all know they got a boner for the KKK.”

Sean Cahn: “KKK? You mean the gay, gay, gay like them fuckin Asians that think there bad asses and can beat up fuckin hicks when really they just plain fools with tiny fuckin dicks”

Le Bronx :

“Yah, don't get me started with Asian genitalia, I can only talk about em proportionate to their length, basically a two second discussion with no good sense”

Sean Cahn: “And speakin' of Tiny Dicks I'm havin' a serious problem with that nigga Sho dissin' me, pissin' me off like Mississippi and , punchin' me, dissin my poster, dissin the fact that I can't walk like them, can't talk like them, Or maybe he’s jealous cause I gotta bigger dick then them"

Le Bronx : “Ya, what the fuck is with that nigga Sho, borrowin' my stuff for ages like we brothers, no! I ain't got brothers, I ain't got kin, only nigga I care for is the body I'm in!”

Sean Cahn: “And that fucking faggot Su dissin the Iranians like were his fuckin granny from the show Nanny, hey Su! Stop dissin us and moooove on nigga, we know u like killing Persians and seeing what they wanna see even though you're really a fucking PERSIAN WANNA BE”

Le Bronx : Hell yeah he's a Persian wannabe, at least we know who we be, what the fuck is he, a gook or a chink, I don't even think he even knows, all he realizes is he's about as cool as Shaq's free throws.

Sean Cahn: “Why are you eating our kabobs, seein' our movies, not seein what those fucking mother fuckers wanna see, Cause you’re trying to be me, trying to see what I wanna see, well nigga if you become my roommate you gone have ta pay the fee since I'm an addict to Hardcore Pornography.”

Le Bronx : Ya, you betta watch that shit Cahn, before you're in some alley, raping a dumb Blonde, cuz believe me, hobbies translate to reality, GTA to fuckin' homicide, Eminem to fatalities.

Sean Cahn: “And speaking of gay jokes what’s with Slavic, that nigga think Russia is 3 feet wide, possibly a place that he can hide with his older folks talkin' about his really unfunny jokes and gay stereotyping when really we know who the real faggot is.”

Le Bronx : Hell yeah, that damn Ruskies' of the immature caste, you go up to him and say poop, he'll bust his fucking kidney, laughin' off his ass

Le Bronx : "Yo, this some hardcore fucking Uni shit, we spittin' on our school, spittin' on you bitch"

Sean Cahn: “Yeah, straight outta Uni, bitches, you can't feel us, we'll leave yo brains in stitches".

Sean Cahn: “Yo, this some hardcore fucking Uni shit, we spittin' on our school, spittin' on you bitch"

Le Bronx : "Yeah, straight outta Uni bitch, best not misunderstand, lest we mess up your shit, and fuck you up man!".

Le Bronx : “Can't these bitches just understand, I don't care for the good a' the common man, I hate them all, I hope they die, Nigga, I'll take 'em with me until I hear their momma's cry. Until they're down six-deep, ya kna wha I mean, eaten by worms, spoiled and weak, basically laid down in the street.”

Sean Cahn: “Nigga, I wish I had some cool guns and gadgets cause I'm sick of the losers at our table playing magic while making things fucked up for folks and talkin about there oh so funny gay jokes.”

Le Bronx : Cool guns and gadgets, nigga this ain't Star Wars, nor the Reagan shit or the movie, bitch, just take out your Uzi and shoot, make sure ya don't miss!

Sean Cahn: “And I'm sick of that kook Raymond. Thinkin' he's da man actin like he’s a cool and rough, showing us that he’s really tough, if he’s really tough and dissin us how come he doesn’t do shit when that nigga came up ta him and dissin his kemchy ass

I'll take a pass ta dat shit Uni is boring, I get boner, end of the story, not only do I go through a fuckin boner but I gotta go through, jocks, punks and mother fuckin stoners. While getting a boner!”

Le Bronx : Ya, Raymond is an annoying guy, saying "You wanna die" until some big-ass Mexican beats him until he cries, until he sobs and groans for his momma, that shit is real, not some fronting stupidity that'll get a nigga killed.

Sean Cahn: “And you guys dissin me cause I smoke bud? So what? Yeah I do do that shit sometimes, but it's not a playtime, it's just shit that I do to get over gook peoples gay rhymes.”

Le Bronx : I'll do that shit if it comes to me, I'm too lazy to do any drugs, even LSD, cuz nigga, what the fuck happens if you have a bad trip, seeing Bob Dole making out with Michael Vick?

Sean Cahn: “Man if it was between Bob dole and some mutha-fuckin' mooks it wouldn’t be history, it'd be the mother fuckin end to the Chinese and Japanese story.”

Le Bronx : "Yo, this some hardcore fucking Uni shit, we spittin' on our school, spittin' on you bitch"

Sean Cahn: “Yeah, straight outta Uni, bitches, you can't feel us, we'll leave yo brains in stitches".

Sean Cahn: “Yo, this some hardcore fucking Uni shit, we spittin' on our school, spittin' on you bitch"

Le Bronx : "Yeah, straight outta Uni bitch, best not misunderstand, lest we mess up your shit, and fuck you up man!".

Le Bronx : “Despite all this pain, I still go to school, without much gain, I mean what do you want me to learn that I already haven't, life's a bitch, and fuck nothing even matters.

Sean Cahn: “Overall If I had some cheese wit some cheddar I'll put an end to Sho's fucking vindictive vendetta and to make things betta I'll make Orin Pay for makin’ Jews look bad seein how them killing Jesus is already too sad.”

Le Bronx : And while you doing that I'll flush out all the other faggots with high style and fashion, spinning around with a double Uzi surprise, you bitches be lucky if anyone's still alive.

Sean Cahn: “And I'm beggin' to see Bush get a beat down by Robo-Scoggins, That robot be shootin' ammo's from rounds to fucking rounds, makin' bush do some fucking push downs.”

Le Bronx : Hell yeah, watch out for Robo-Scoggins, whatever fucking created him had to have dope inside of him, because even though he's a figment of our imaginations, he seems fucking real when he's causing devastation.

Sean Cahn: "Bush pleadin' let me out let me out while Scoggins puttin' lead into to his fuckin' skull screamin', 'Shut ya damn mouth!'. I hope one day in this fine Nation, Me, La Bronx and Robo-Scoggins rule this Domination, Sho em who can beat, bull and saw like that fuckin Robo Tom Brokaw”

Le Bronx: “Nigga we on the wrong track, I thought we were talkin' bout school and lameass facts, but whatever the fuck we rappin' about, I still feel like it's magma spewin' out of my mouth”

Sean Cahn: “Uni is fucking gay, People can't say what they wanna fuckin say cause if they make the school administration look like a fool, a fucking Pointless Well earn Saturday School will appear on your dinner stool.”

Le Bronx: “Ya, I feel ya, I got one too, though I'll never tell you how or why, let's just say I had a little epiphany, it was my fucking destiny, I'll put it simply for the fans, nigga, I killed a man.

Sean Cahn: “And speaking of gay show offs I'm sick of that fucking Baldin' Pete he makes me wanna saw my own fuckin Head off! Thinkin how he’s so fuckin big and rich, But really I here teachers are dissin him and treatin' him like a lil bitch...OOOOH!"

Le Bronx: “Ya, Peter is the father of frontin' spewin' off like some dumb chick about all his fucking shit. 'Nigga I got diamonds, nigga daily lobster on I dine', Bitch, are you up out a' ya motherfuckin' mind?!

Sean Cahn: "He thinks he’s so cool, cold and bitter even though he cries all the time cause he’s getting dissed by his own sister.”

Le Bronx: “Ya, that's pretty low, all he is is a paper tiger, a no-name schmo, cuz a' that, sometimes I swear, I feel a bit sorry, until I see the fucking bald spot in his hair.

Sean Cahn: "He thinks he’s cool, silk and rockin, though he did get a beat down from some kid in Kick Boxin’.”

Le Bronx: “Hell yeah, he bit off more than he could chew, chewed off more than he could swallow, acted like a bitch, he's just drowning in fucking sorrow.

Sean Cahn: “While I was starin' at the fuckin mop I had a dream That I brought loaded shotgun to school and blew Pete's Head off, After that more shit went down, I made That fuckin Geek good derrick suck my dick before pleadin guilty knowin' what went down with him and Tiffany, didn’t you here man?...Tiffany was really Steve Chan! Meanin' Derrick screwed a fuckin' man Guess what to dat tax? It's super cool To the Max for him man. Knowin' that he’s gay and screwed Dave Chan, Steve Chan What ever all these gooks look the same.”

Le Bronx: “Holy shit, a transvestite bitch? Whatever, stuff don't faze me much these days, anyway I saw it coming, you know he's gay.

Sean Cahn: “As Derr-ick was pleadin for his like suckin' ma big-dick He only asked me for one last plead? You know what it was? That his buddy Dax here’s the rhyme To the Max one last time.”

Sean Cahn: “I told him fuck you I rather here another Chingy album thin listen to this shit in one last time”

Le Bronx: "Yeah, on the net, he's a pain in the neck, ttm, and smmp, the only thing that shit stands for is "I get down on my knees"

Sean Cahn: “ And all the haters in basketball class can't handle the fact that Bob Dole is part of the Bob Doleantors.”

Le Bronx: “Nigga, the Bob Doleanators in the house, best team in the class, if ya'll have heard, equivalent to the NBA's San Antonio Spurs

Sean Cahn: “You're right nigga my bad, I was singin' about mutha fuckin fags that have gay jokes, gay strokes oh wait where talkin bout Uni Right? OHHHH then Neva mind.. Yeah They a pretty bad ass team the Bob Doleantors, too bad we have people like Sho, Su, and Orin bein' Persian Haters, What really gets my mind fucked is how much racism goes around us"

Le Bronx: “Same difference my man, strolling down the streets while bitches be talkin out their mouth, all talk sans intelligence, this shit is all goin' south

Sean Cahn: “Go Back to Iraq, Persia, I-ran, NIGGA ITS MUTHA FUCKIN IRAN AND GET IT FUCKIN RIGHT OR I FUCKIN SLAP YOU WITH MY RIGHT HAND!

Le Bronx: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel ya'll man, Americans can't pronounce, let alone understand Iran, but whatever, who cares, God bless the red white and blue, I'm proud to be in a country full of imbeciles and fools.

Sean Cahn: “And Speakin of Right hands, I hate that gay fuckin white band at school showin how white people are dumb sad fools, I had a better time hearing Rednecks ride horses cause through out these fucking courses I thought My head was gonna explode

Le Bronx: “Yah, let's just say Uni's musically inept, they can't handle verses, let alone lines, they're dense. The one true skill you see, is Le Bronx and Sean Cahn, ill rhymes and heresy.”

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 03:13:24 GMT

Today was cool, just because it's the weekend, although people at school are getting on my nerves...Pretentious cretins...(you know who you are, although you probably won't be reading my Xanga...)

Sanbud's Daily Movie Review:

Dog Day Afternoon (R - Crime, Drama - 1975)

Al Pacino plays a ferocious and fed-up bank robber in Lumet's classic film, Dog Day Afternoon. Balancing suspense, violence, and humor, the film's depiction of a grand-scale media event craftily dives from the political to the personal, evoking a piercing portrait of a man and his devastating downward tumble as seen through the media circus that Lumet made a career of chronicling. Pacino is heartbreakingly real as Sonny, a smart yet self-destructive Brooklyn tough whose plan to rob the local bank to fund his male lover's (Chris Sarandon) sex change goes absurdly wrong. Accompanied only by his doltish accomplice, Sal (John Cazale), Sonny resorts to kidnapping a handful of bank employees when he realizes that all the money had been removed before his arrival. As the lengthy August day drags on, Sonny and hordes of local police, led by Sergeant Moretti (Charles Durning), make little progress, and eventually Sonny's wife and lover are brought to the scene. The crowd's sympathy is immediately captured by the charismatic Sonny, whose antagonism with the police is played out before an audience of millions, leading to an inevitably tragic finish.

I'd heard of this film many times before, and I finally got to see it a few months ago. It's a timeless classic about a desperate man who goes into a bank robbery that will inevitably end in his failure. Indeed, it is not only timeless, but it is based on a true story. The events of this 1975 film were based on the events in real life on August 22, 1972.

It starts off with Sonny, a young, smart, desperate, married, apparently bisexual, and lower-class Italian, played by Al Pacino. He's street-smart, he fought in Vietnam, he's running the stick-up in order to get money for his homosexual lover to have a sex-change operation. He's also married to a chubby and shrill woman with three kids, and he has a terrifically possessive mother. Al Pacino plays this character exceedingly well, making much of the audience and indeed the characters of the film, feel a great sympathy for him throughout the movie. This is perhaps one of Pacino's great performances, although he has had many others. Sonny needs money for, among other things, his male lover's sex change operations, and decides to rob a Brooklyn bank with his religious, weird, and at times, downright retarded, friend, Sal. As they arrive there, everything seems to be going right, they go in, stick up the tellers get everyone into a corner, get the bank manager out and disable the alarms, since Sonny knows where they are after an experience working as a low-paid teller in such banks. But then failure hits them as they open the vault, all the money has been removed from the vault, and guess what a bunch of local cops have just seen them from across the street! The police arrive on the scene, along with a horde of locals, who as the movie goes on, begin to start rooting for the persecuted common man, Sonny. Inevitably, there is a good cop, and a bad cop, in the force, a guy who wants action, and a guy who wants to talk to Sonny, Sergeant Moretti, played quite nicely by Charles Durning. As the movie progresses, the situation gets worse into the night, Sonny's male lover and wife are brought into the scene and try to talk him out of it at certain points in the film, Sal getting more and more nervous, different deals being proposed and then failing, trading of hostages for favors and such being proposed, and other drama as the afternoon turns into a long night. The robbers become a sort of instant celebrity, and so do the people involved with them, although it also shows that eventually the public will run out of interest for you, the public has a short attention span. It approaches the whole robbery situation in a long, interesting, almost documentary-like approach, with a lot of dark and irreverent humor. Finally, as the film begins to end (it seemed a little too long) a deal is finalized between Moretti and Sonny, a bit of the hostages being released, and the rest of them joining Sal and Sonny on a police-provided van to an airplane waiting to take them away to Africa where they'll be free. But inevitably, as it is with these good films, and as it is with real life, since this is based on a true story, things do not go as planned. The ending is satisfying, albeit extremely tragic.

Although at first I thought this movie would be the predictable bank robbing film, in the end, it turned out to not really be that, since it was one of the major ones that many other crappy films like John Q drew off of. Lots of stupid movies like John Q in the "break into somewhere and take hostages, and then have a long standoff with the cops" movie genre steal many elements from Dog Day Afternoon, but it will always be the best of that genre in my opinion, a truly splendid film.

I enjoyed this film a lot, and I think it deserves at least, a rental.

In the end, I give this Four Meatwads out of Five

Zombie Rodney Dangerfield's Verdict-

"Eh Kid, this movie was pretty friggin' good and deserves some damn respect, but you know what, I don't get no respect! Not even as a friggin' dead guy, I mean, somebody give me some freakin' brains or something to eat, this Ray Charles dude is getting on my friggin' nerves..."

Sanbud's Quote of the Day:

"You smell that? Do you smell that?... Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' Gook body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory. Someday this war's gonna end..."

-Apocalypse Now (Spoken by Robert Duvall's character, Kilgore)

Sanbud's Hate of the Day:

I HATE MadTv...They seem to be unbelievably skilled at making crappy unfunny stupid ass shit that only retarded Joe Schmo Americans seem to enjoy. Sure SNL is kind of on a downturn, but SNL on a downturn is better than MadTv crap anyday...People who watch it a lot should either be shot, or brainwashed into watching Kids in the Hall, SNL, or The Upright Citizen's Brigade.

Sanbud's Quiz of the Day

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins does Sanbud practice the most of?

You are greedy! It's not just about money - though you love the fact you have it all and aren't sharing with anyone - But the main thing is you don't let anybody else have credit or praise either. You want it all, and you're going to get it. On the plus side, this often pushes you to get what you really want and rarely do you sit back and just take what is given. With your greedy little paws all over everything you can reach, It's probably safe to say you aren't a good friend all the time, fix this or you'll end up alone - though as long as you have money you'll be happy. However, Congratulations on being the most successful of the 7 deadly sins...

Friday, October 29, 2004

Fri, 29 Oct 2004 00:08:34 GMT

Today was alright...But I can't wait until the weekend, hopefully I'll be playing GTA: SA by then, making my character as obese and violent as possible. Eehehe....

Sanbud's Daily Movie Review:

Final Destination (R - Thriller - 2000)

Alex Browning (Ali Larter), is embarking on a trip to Paris with his high school French class. In the plane's cabin, buckled-in and ready for take-off, Alex experiences a powerful premonition. He sees the plane explode in a fiery blaze moments after leaving the ground. Alex panics and insists that everyone get off the plane. In the melee than ensues, seven people including Alex, are forced to disembark the ill-fated aircraft. Back in the departure lounge, Alex and his friends Billy (Seann William Scott) and Tod; Clear a young woman who instinctively heeded Alex's warning; Carter, whose derision of Alex's paranoia had him and his girlfriend Terry thrown off the plane; and Ms. Lewton, the teacher who volunteers to stay with the disembarking students, all watch as Alex's horrific premonition proves tragically accurate when the plane explodes in a catastrophic fireball. Ironically, even though Alex's intuition saves lives, after the crash he is plagued by both guilt and suspicion. Ominous portents of doom as well as the FBI, dog his every step. Alex comes to believe that somehow, he and the other survivors have briefly cheated death, but will not be able to evade their fate for very long. Clear befriends Alex, but no one, not even she, really believes his macabre theory -- not even as one by one, these fugitives from fate fall victim to the grim reaper.

I was at first skeptical at the quality of this film, since it just seemed to me, to just be another "random people get picked off one by one, specifically, hip teenagers" film like Scream and all that crap, except with a twist. In actuality, it turned out to be a little more, an actually satisfying film, that I enjoyed a lot.

It starts off with the regular bunch of teenagers in a high school class, geeks, wierdos, assholes, jocks, loners, etc, including Seann William Scott from the American Pie films. The class is preparing to board a plane to France, but the main character, played by Ali Larter, has a premonition of the plane exploding and everyone inside dying. He panics and leaves the plane, six people leave with him, including their teacher, a jock and his girlfriend, a random girl, and Alex's two friends. Shortly after, the plane leaves without them and explodes, Alex's prediction coming true. Those seven have cheated death, and for the entire movie from then on, death pursues them and they one by one suffer gruesome deaths.

The way they make these deaths occurr are actually quite interesting and surprising at times, especially the gruesome death of the teacher, which involves, among other things, an exploding computer, and a rack of knives with a towel underneath. Let's just say it's pretty gory, she dies listening to John Denver...The film keeps on coming up with more and more action packed ways for the characters to die as death follows a predestined path of vengeance. Meanwhile, no one believes Alex's predictions, and instead, rightfully so, think he's a kook who probably makes the "predictions" come true himself, and the F.B.I trail him everywhere.

The films conclusion is very satisfying, and a sort of surprise ending in a way that I found quite entertaining...Death can never be defeated...

This is an alright teen thriller, certainly better than the majority of teen and horror movies, and I recommend it for at least a rental...

In the end, I give this Three Meatwads out of Five

DMX's Verdict-

"Damn nigga, this movie didn't even have one nigga! Not one! ARF ARF! STOP! DROP! SHUT 'EM DOWN OPEN UP SHOP! WHERE MAH MOTHERFUCKIN' DOGS BE AT! Peace..."

Sanbud's Quote of the Day:

"Battle not with monsters
lest ye become a monster
and if you gaze into the abyss
the abyss gazes into you."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Sanbud's Hate of the Day:

I really hate conservative pundits like Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly...At least people like Tucker Carlson are halfway sane and intelligent, sometimes it seems like O'Reilly, Hannity, and most of all, Coulter, are in a retarded alternate dimension where Bush is the greatest president ever and the war in Iraq is going great. Especially Ann Coulter, she's really an idiot...I mean, seriously, she's not smart. There are plenty of intelligent conservatives and Republicans, and I won't say anyone is really dumb for just having a different view from me, but Ann Coulter is just...completely and utterly ignorant at times.

Sanbud's Quiz of the Day

Is Sanbud going to Heaven or Hell?

You are quite capable of evil. If you don't change your ways, you're going to Hell... but it's not too late to change your final destination!

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Wed, 27 Oct 2004 21:42:32 GMT

Today was as boring as yesterday...I can't wait until November when the new U2, Eminem, and Linkin Park albums come out...For now there isn't much for me to do except get pissed off at people, play basketball, write my novel, obsess about Evangelion, and buy random crap...

Sanbud's Daily Movie Review:

Unbreakable (PG13 - Drama, Fantasy - 2000)

Unbreakable is a riveting story shared by two men. David Dunn (Bruce Willis), a man from a blue-collar neighborhood in Philadelphia emerges unharmed as the sole survivor of a devastating train accident. Enter Elijah Price (Samuel L. Jackson), a mysterious stranger who offers a bizarre explanation as to why David escaped without a single scratch, an explanation that threatens to change David's family and life forever.

After M. Night Shyamalan's huge success with The Sixth Sense, winning Academy Awards, and directing an acclaimed film, many people were at the edge of their seats waiting for his next movie. As you know by now, he came out with three other movies after the brilliant Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, and The Village, all either mediocre, awful, or just bad. I will examine his second film, the first one after The Sixth Sense, which I've seen a few times, at first when I rented it on DVD when it came out.

It starts off alright, Bruce Willis playing a security guard with family troubles who has just survived a huge train accident and come home to his estranged wife and child. As the movie proceeds, Willis's character is approached by Samuel L. Jackson's character, acted very well by Jackson as always, a frail disabled comic book fan who wants to talk to Willis about his seeming

invulnerability over his life from never being sick, to surviving a major car and train accident. Over a series of "coincidences" Jackson continues meeting with Willis and begins feeding him a different explanation for these things other than luck, that Willis is a sort of super hero perhaps, a human with special abilities.

Although initially skeptical, Willis begins believing it more and more as he realizes his special powers and instincts and sets out to test them out and at the same time, help people. In his experiences, he also gets closer to his wife and son and finds out what his main weakness is.

Although it seemed like M. Night was trying to hard to come up with another surprise ending after the shocker in The Sixth Sense (which may be why there wasn't really one in Signs), and the shock ending isn't even half as surprising and good, it is still a satisfying ending. Spoiler (in white): The ending is quite satisfying, the surprise being that Mr. Glass (Samuel L. Jackson) actually set up many of the “accidents” plaguing the city in a search for a special person, a superhuman, the antithesis to his frailty, his arch-nemesis. It’s very satisfying and cool to see Jackson being hauled off by the police while talking about how he is “Mr. Glass.”

Overall, I won't say this film is awful per se, but it was certainly a dissapointment to people waiting for another good movie after M. Night's The Sixth Sense, and I suppose this might be worth a rent, possibly, although you'd be better off just catching it on TNT or some such crappy channel.

I give it two Meatwads, just because I'm grading all movies on this scale, to give this a three in the overall history of film is heresy (and maybe I'll change some of my previous ratings to reflect this...ehehhehe...)

In the end, I give this Two Meatwads out of Five

Bob Dole's Verdict (Sean Connery is off "snoggin'" that one woman he got off the street)-

"Bob Dole thought this movie was alright...But Bob Dole didn't think it was as great as that one Seventh Sense thing, Bob Dole felt a certain affinity for Willis in that one, since Bob Dole is actually technically dead!"

Sanbud's Quote of the Day:

"We the American working population
Hate the nine to five day-in day-out
But we'd rather be supporting ourselves
By being paid to perfect the pasttimes
That we have harbored based solely on the fact
That it makes us smile if it sounds dope."

-Aesop Rock

Sanbud's Hate of the Day:

I really hate crappy white rock music like Godsmack, Korn, Blink-182, AFI, etc...I totally hate it all...And all the fans of said bands always go, "Oh, I do not wanna listen to rap because it's too retarded and conformist...". Bitches, your music isn't any better, both rock and rap have their good and bad bands and artists...These are the same asses who diss Eminem and call him too mainstream and then go listen to Good Charlotte or some such crap.

Sanbud's Quiz of the Day

What makes Sanbud special?

Or is there even such a thing as an accurate quiz
result? You question things and appreciate the
time you have to ponder your own existence. You
are either brilliant or really want to be. That
is a great thing to strive for and it makes you
special.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 23:11:02 GMT

Well...today was boring, like yesterday...As a senior I have almost NOTHING to do...which is cool, but whatever, I'm utterly bored...

Sanbud's Daily Movie Review:

Equilibrium (R - Drama, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Thriller - 2002)

In a futuristic world, a strict regime has eliminated war by suppressing emotions: books, art and music are strictly forbidden and feeling is a crime punishable by death. Cleric John Preston (Bale) is a top-ranking government agent responsible for destroying those who resist these rules. When he misses a dose of Prozium, a mind-alterering drug that hinders emotion, Preston, who has been trained to enforce the strict laws of the new regime, suddenly becomes the only person capable of overthrowing it.

I remember hearing vague things about Equilibrium, and hearing about it a little when it came out in theaters, but I figured it was just some lameass action movie with Taye Diggs and Christian Bale. But later on, I saw it in the local video store, sitting on the shelf, with "Two Enthusiastic Thumbs Up" and a critic calling it "Better than the Matrix". Now, I usually don't trust Ebert and Roeper, since they're a bunch of asses for often giving VERY good reviews for VERY bad movies (i.e. Final Fantasy: Spirits Within, Hero, etc.). But, I often listen to them anyway, since they're the only real film critics in existence, barring retards and the clinically insane.

So I watched this film, expecting not much, but I got far from that. It's a sort of Matrix combined with 1984, combined with A Brave New World, combined with Fahrenheit 451. The plot is a little cliched, using basic ideas and situations that have already been overused by Orwell, and Bradbury. But the plot is still rather satisfying, and Christian Bale, Sean Bean, and William Fitchner, deliver good performances in their roles.

A very important part of the film, is, obviously, the action, which many people say rivals or is better than the fights in The Matrix. I have to say as Equilibrium vs. The Matrix goes, although Equilibrium has Agent Smith (one of my favorite movie villains), I still liked Equilibrium and found it more entertaining. While a major part of The Matrix's fights are the interesting characters and innovative bullet-time effects, Equilibrium doesn't have characters as interesting (since it does take place in a uniform police state without individuality), and it doesn't have any bullet-time at all. Instead all the fighting takes place in real time, but I found the fights much more satisfying than The Matrix. From the splendid fighting in the dark between the rebels and the Clerics, to the glorious final battle between The Father and Preston (featuring Gun-Fu...ehehhe), the action scenes are efficient, entertaining, and just great.

Overall, Equilibrium is worth the rent, and I'd definitely want to buy it on DVD...It's a very satisfying action movie that makes you think at times (albeit the ideas have been used a lot already) and not only matches The Matrix, but out does it.

In the end, I give this Four Meatwads out of Five

Sean Connery's Verdict-

"This was a bleedin' great film, I just felt shivers up mah spine when that white lad sliced off that blackie's face, it reminded meh of the good ol' days...Now excuse me while I make love to this chick I found off the street, right 'ere."

Sanbud's Quote of the Day:

"I show no love for homo thugs!"

-DMX

Sanbud's Hate of the Day:

I really hate it when women want equality and they also want special advantages at well...They say they want equality, but if you're not condescending towards them, they often call you a sexist...They call you sexists when you treat them like you'd treat a male, and that just makes me pissed off. You can't be equal AND have special rights, you're either equal, or you're not!

Sanbud's Quiz of the Day

Which Matrix character is Sanbud most like?

You are Agent Smith! You are the Arch Nemesis of
Neo! You fight to maintain the status quo of
the Matrix. Youre a sociopathic Artificial
Intelligence with a sadistic bend to your
personality sub routines. You enjoy beating
those pathetic humans into their place after
what they did to your people. You ignore the
fact that you are as evil and oppressive as the
original humans that create d your kind. You
got a major shock then Neo hacked your program
and blew you to shit. But, dont feel bad,
presumably you saved a back up copy of yourself
in the Matrix and you get to get some of your
own back against Neo in Reloaded.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 04:53:45 GMT

Today was alright for a Monday...School is "meh", since as a senior, I don't really have much homework, ever...But I'm really hyped about Eminem's new album, Encore, coming out next month, along with U2's new album, Vertigo, also coming out next month...Another great album also coming out next month that I also can't wait for is Collision Course, the Jay Z-Linkin Park remix album...ehehehe..

Sanbud's Daily Movie Review:

Undercover Brother (PG13 - Action, African-American, Comedy - 2002)

He's back. He's bad. And he's here to rescue us all from The Man. From Imagine Entertainment, the producers of The Nutty Professor and Liar, Liar, comes Undercover Brother. Directed by Malcolm D.Lee (The Best Man) and starring Eddie Griffin (Double Take), Undercover Brother is a live-action comedy based on Urban Media's popular website series. Blasted from the past and ready to take care of business, Undercover Brother is recruited to infiltrate a sinister underground movement headed by The Man. Partnered with the sassy, stunning Sistah Girl (Aunjanue Ellis), our hero must first undergo the ultimate attitude adjustment and trade in his 'fro and platforms for tennis sweaters and penny loafers. Once the transformation is complete, he's ready to take on the evil perpetrators of Operation Whitewash - Mr. Feather (Chris Kattan), Penelope Snow aka White She Devil (Denise Richards) and ultimately, The Man. Get ready for action in the affirmative. Ya dig?

I remember seeing Undercover Brother when it came out in theaters, and I remember it well, since I got into a massive fight with about four people and me and my friend, four on two...But I digress, I’m here to review the movie, not the fight (both of which were spectacular….ehehehe…)

Undercover Brother, played well by funnyman Eddie Griffin, is like the Austin Powers of the Shaft/funk/70’s, and much funnier than Powers, in my opinion. While the jokes of Austin Powers grew stale and passé by the second movie, Undercover Brother remains rather fresh and amusing throughout the entire film, especially with great supporting roles by former SNL star Chris Kattan, and Pre-Chappelle Show, Post-Half Baked, Dave Chappelle. Kattan and Chappelle often steal the show away from Griffin, Aunjanue Ellis, and the other supporting cast.
This movie progresses well, and although it was a bit lame at moments, overall it was full of fun and funk, and quite an enjoyable romp. The jokes and gags are in most part, well delivered and quite amusing, and surprisingly, the final action scene at the end of the film between Kattan and Griffin is quite satisfying for a comedy (especially the amusing way in which they do the “Beat it Like” motions for their opponents to approach and the cool blades hidden in Kattan’s sleeves.

Overall, I’ve got to say I enjoyed this film. It’s definitely not the funniest film I’ve ever seen, but it was quite more satisfying than the awful Goldmember, and I wonder at times why they never at least made one sequel to Undercover Brother, I’m sure if they only did one and didn’t follow the stupidity of Mike Myers and make a trilogy, it’d be quite amusing and fine…Perhaps a sequel is already in works, there are many sequels to comedies coming out (like Clerks 2 and Spaceballs 2)

In the end, I give this Three Meatwads out of Five

Bizarre's Verdict (Mr. T and Sean Connery beat Fred Durst to death with Bob Dole so he would stop his crude rapping)-

"Yo, this movie rocked, just like I'll rock your mom, when I'll take your grandmom and fuck her in the eye, and then tell your mom I'll skullfuck her until she dies!"

Sanbud's Quote of the Day:

"Love is the answer- but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions."

-Woody Allen

Sanbud's Hate of the Day:

I really hate teenagers…Which means I probably hate myself, and I do hate myself…The majority of teenagers I know are utterly retarded, pretentious, full of themselves, and ignorant fools…but I suppose I shouldn’t single out teenagers, most people are like that…But I did single out teenagers, so I suppose I’ll have to flow with the hate…eheheh...The majority of them have awful taste in film, music, and politics, and the few that think themselves nonconformists and intellectuals are even more pretentious and full of themselves. To think that my generation is the future of this country...that just makes me shudder…

Sanbud's Quiz of the Day

Which Hellsing character is Sanbud most like?

You're Alexander Anderson, the nutcase Vatican priest with a thirst for destroying vampires. You're also slightly insane and very fanatical in your ways.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 05:26:11 GMT

Hmmm...Today was alright, I bought Hellsing Volume 1 DVD, Arrested Development Season 1 DVD, Monty Python: The Meaning of Life DVD...That made my day, because money and material goods do equal happiness. I feel better because of money, and I feel better when I buy things. The HELL with people who say money doesn't equal happiness, those are just people who don't have enough money!

Sanbud's Daily Movie Review:

Battle Royale (R - Action, Thriller - 2001)

Battle Royale, a film by the veteran Japanese director Kinji Fukasaku, tells the story of a dystopic future in which each year, a randomly-selected 9th grade class is kidnapped and sent to a deserted island where they are equipped with weapons and are forced to kill each other until one survivor is left. The movie, which premiered in Japan on December 16, 2000 amidst much controversy, is based on a bestselling novel by Koushun Takami.

Battle Royale is of the class of hyperviolent films that are now common in Japanese cinema...And all in all, it is a pretty good film...At first I was dissapointed with a few of the changes and actors chosen for the characters I'd grown to love from the novel...Kiriyama seemed rather unconvincing in appearance, and so did Shogo and a few other vital characters...But I suppose as it advanced, I grew to appreciate each actor, and the acting wasn't that bad. The shining performance is the role of the head teacher, played by legendary Japanese actor and director, Beat Takeshi..He played splendidly as the insane head teacher, and rescued this movie from total doldrums at times....

Overall, I enjoyed this film, although it hardly has the depth that Battle Royale was originally intended to deliver. It was supposed to be a modern, Orwellian Lord of the Flies, showing how different people from different social background and such would react in a similar extreme situation. Sadly, you don't get to see this in the movie, since it is a feature length movie and they can't fit it in, instead making all those characters you know so much about in the novel mostly become extras and only highlighting a chosen few. I recommend reading the novel and the manga, and then the film.

In the end, I give this Four Meatwads out of Five

Fred Durst's Verdict (Mr. T and Sean Connery passed out after seeing Bob Dole in his bathing suit. Bob Dole promptly fell asleep ontop of Sean Connery)-

"Yo! This is Fred Durst, and I got to say, this movie ain't the worst. THIS FUCKING MOVIE IS A FUCKING ROCKING MOVIE! FUCK YEAH! Roll with it before I...uh...break your shit..."

Sanbud's Quote of the Day:

"Lack of money is the root of all evil"

-George Bernard Shaw

Sanbud's Hate of the Day:

I hate George W. Bush! God he's one of our worst presidents in history! Instead of stabilizing Afghanistan, completely destroying the Taliban and Al Queda, and finding Bin Laden, he took us into the quagmire that is Iraq for NO SUBSTANTIAL REASON! He's a complete idiot, a former coke-addict, and a coward...At least Kerry volunteered to go to Vietnam..

Sanbud's Quiz of the Day

Which historical figure is Sanbud most like?

You are Joseph Stalin, one of the two worst people in the history of the world, you are responsible for more deaths than Adolf Hitler. On the plus side, you are aggressive, extremely intelligent, ambitious, dedicated, and paranoid.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 00:30:31 GMT

Well, today was alright...Mr. Pei's class was cool because Mr. Pei apparently got in a big car accident (I'm such a bastard...Ehehehe) and we'll have a substitute for sometime, History of Cinema test that I probably aced...

And I'm tired of people my age "searching for themselves", I've already found myself! I'm an awful, cold-hearted bastard with a penchant for lying and absolutely no scruples. Also I'm a closet romantic and an aspiring writer...Eheheh..

Sanbud's Daily Movie Review:

Shaun of the Dead (R - Comedy, Suspense, Horror - 2004)

Shaun's life is stuck in a rut. He's a twenty nine year old who lives with his two best friends Ed and Pete. Shaun's girlfriend Liz is sick of the same old, boring nights down their local pub. So when Shaun (Simon Pegg) breaks his promise to organize a special anniversary meal for them both, Liz (Kate Ashfield) decides to break it off with him. Drowning his sorrows the following day, Shaun devises a plan to win Liz back, but today, all is not as it seems... Unfortunately for Shaun, the dead have risen in London and soon a full zombie attack has exploded onto the streets. Determined to save his girlfriend and salvage their relationship, Shaun and his pals let nothing stand in their way as they go forth on a zombie killing spree to save the day!

I saw this film in theaters a month or so ago, and I have to say, I enjoyed it a lot. I've always loved British comedy, in the form of Monty Python in movies and television as well as other British comedies like Are You Being Served.

At first it started as a slightly amusing British comedy about a man going nowhere in his life with a slacker roomate, dissapointed girfriend, and a stepdad who he despises. From here it only rises and rises in humor, as a zombie apocalypse occurs around Shaun and his friend, Ed, and they barely even notice it as they stumble around with their regular lives.

Then they finally encounter the zombies in their backyard, mistaking the first one as a drunk girl at first, and even more hilarity ensues as they drive around the zombie-infested city trying to herd together their friends and family and deliver them to, guess where, the pub! Ehehehe...Ed really steals the show at times though, with hilariously delivered dialogue and a funny recurring joke involving flatulence.

However, after they enter the pub, the humor that drove this film lessens just a bit, and mostly serious but at times hilariously overexaggerated zombie violence ocurrs until the alright ending with a hilarious fate for the zombies.

Overall, I enjoyed this film very much, and like 28 Days Later, recommend it for at least a rental.

In the end, I give this Four Meatwads out of Five

Bob Dole's Verdict (Mr. T was injured after slipping on Sean Connery's soiled trousers)

"Bob Dole has to admit that Bob Dole liked this film, Bob Dole felt a sort of familiarity with it, since Bob Dole often gets confused with the undead..."

Sanbud's Quote of the Day:

"Wealth may be an excellent thing, for it means power, and it means leisure, it means liberty."

-James Russel Lowell

Sanbud's Hate of the Day:

I hate hating! Eheheh...I hate so much, and it's really hard, I've got to tell you, to actually write out what I hate...I'd rather have it boiling beneath me. I already know I hate everything in this world, I don't need to write out every single thing, I hate doing that! Eheheh...But I will, because I hate myself. Ehehehe...

Sanbud's Quiz of the Day

How emotional is Sanbud?

Psycho. Although cold and emotional most of the time, if pushed too far, you can be overwhelmed by anger. You may even
hate the world and everything in it and you
believe revenge is the way of the world. An eye
for an eye.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 16:47:47 GMT

Well, today was a pretty okay day...Not much karmic justic slamming down on my prone head...Guess Eleanor isn't in her period (which lasts 100 years) anymore. Eeeheh....

Sanbud's Daily Movie Review:

Gone With the Wind (G - Drama, Historical - 1939)

Hot-tempered, self-centered, part-Irish Southern beauty Scarlett O’Hara, played to the teeth by Vivien Leigh, loves the gentlemanly Ashley Wilkes. Smug, rebellious, honest blockade-running profiteer Rhett Butler, portrayed gracefully and naturally by Clark Gable, loves Scarlett. Ashley, who is also in love with Scarlett, marries his genteel cousin Melanie because he believes that their quiet similarities will create a better marriage than Scarlett’s passion. Meanwhile, sparks fly between Rhett and Scarlett at their first encounter and continue throughout Scarlett’s first two marriages. Scarlett and Rhett finally wed, but Scarlett continues to pine for her beloved Ashley. Set against the Civil War and Southern Reconstruction, this tragic love quadrangle offers the burning of Atlanta and fields of wounded Confederates as part of its lush scenery. Meticulous backdrops, glorious sunsets, numerous silhouettes, and the ultrasaturated Technicolor film create a hyperreal vision. The romantic score is every bit as lush and dramatic as the photography, borrowing folk melodies from the Old South to make the tragic war concrete. Heavy nostalgic tones pervade the often witty dialogue and larger-than-life charms and faults of the leads. It stands among the greatest epic dramas ever filmed.

My film to review today is a classic movie masterpiece of American film...I'm sure many of you have seen it, or perhaps heard of it at least. It is still just as endearing and magnificent as it must have been over 60 years ago. It has splendid acting, most notably Leigh playing the energetic Scarlett, and the masterful Clark Gable playing the cheeky and witty Butler. As far as dialogue, it is a classic, with witty and splendid dialogue, much of which has been legendary, like the "Frankly dear, I don't give a damn", the last line delivered by Butler in the movie. It also has a splendid and memorable soundtrack. As far as vision, this movie is beautiful, with great special effects for the age, beautiful colors abound, and splendid backdrops.

When it comes to the plot, some may complain that this film is much too long and dragging (3 Hours and 53 Minutes), and had about 60 minutes of superflous content. But I disagree, it went by very quickly for me, because the epic situations, angstful character relationships, and mostly admirable characters. It may not seem like it, but I'm a closet romantic, I still have a bit of a soul, sadly enough, and the romance was quite angstful and delicious, spiraling down as tragic events slammed into Butler and O'Hara's relationship, sending it crumbling to the ground by the end of the film.

Truly this is a masterpiece of film. The greatest movie ever? Nah. The greatest American movie ever? Probably not. Yet, this stands as a timeless classic that everyone should see. Don't be deterred by the date guys, it isn't black and white or anything, and as a period piece, it still feels quite relevant and dramatic, a tragic snapshot of Southern life before, during, and after the Civil War.

In the end, I give this Five Meatwads out of Five

Mr. T's Verdict (Sean Connery is still cleaning off his self-creamed trousers)-

"Listen here fool, this movie still makes T cry! And anything that makes T cry has to pay! I pity the foo who does that, I'll throw him hellah far!"

Sanbud's Quote of the Day:

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich"

-Napoleon Bonaparte

Sanbud's Hate of the Day:

I hate stupid mainstream rap! People like Chingy, Lil Romeo, and P. Diddy, even Nelly! Eminem and Dr. Dre are kind of borderline...But it's people like P. Diddy and Chingy, and Sisqo that give rap a bad name, making pale goths and lamos think, "Uh, Rap is so, fucking lame, I'd rather not pretend to be a gangster. Instead I'll pretend to be a skater/Asian/goth/etc....All they talk about is bitches and ice!". Anyone that thinks that is true should either die (I recommend this, it's rather wise. Eheheh...) or listen to good rap, like maybe Aesop Rock or the Fugees.

Sanbud's Quiz of the Day

Which Neon Genesis Evangelion character is Sanbud most like?

You are a fairly cold and ruthless
man, with huge ambitions and next to no
scruples. Gendo abandoned his son, Shinji, at the
age of 4 at the same time his wife, Yui Ikari,
died in an accident concerning the Eva series.